Frothy Paradise

Jesus whirling christ, but I am tired of hearing about everyone’s obsession with bacon. And as though that weren’t bad enough, now everything in the world has to taste like bacon, smell like bacon, blahdeeblahdeeblah. Oh, bacon-flavored chocolate bars! Oh, bacon scented candles! Oh, Band-Aids that look like bacon! Yes, ha ha ha, how incongruous.

Let’s go back to being obsessed with pesto, like we were 25 years ago (yeah, I know I’m pretty much the only one reading this who will even remember that). ANYTHING. I’d even accept some ridiculously high-end obsession so that everyone can be really really impressed with how oh-so-very foodie we’ve all become. But right now, how about you just throw some good old Oscar Meyer into a pan and Shut. The Fuck. UP, especially since you know goddamned well you can’t tell the difference between that and your precious Niman Ranch stuff anyway.