Trying to explain privilege to some people can sort of be like trying to explain the Matrix to somebody who is in the Matrix. They’re like “whaaa?” because it has literally never occurred to them that their mode of being might differ from other (non-white, non-male, non-straight) people’s experiences of the world. Nobody likes to be condescended to. That’s why the number one killer of love is contempt, and why I used a Matrix reference instead of something more snobby and indirect. That’s why people like John Mayer, who can’t help but be contemptuous of everyone else for not being as totally awesome as they are, don’t generally find love. There’s an intersection between narcissism and misogyny that ends up with bachelors like Jack Nicholson and Alec Baldwin, who both repeatedly fantasize in interviews about falling in love and getting married again, oblivious to why that’s not gonna happen.