Frothy Paradise

This article bears all the marks of a piece from The Onion — the white-bread cast of characters lacking a shred of self-awareness, banal observations presented as nuggets of wisdom, and utter lack of irony. So it’s from the Onion, right?

Nope, it’s a real article from the Sioux City Journal. My hand to god. My favorite part has got to be the lede:

“A martini is not a martini without an olive.

That, at least, is the thinking of a true connoisseur.

And to Siouxland residents, many of whom consider themselves connoisseurs of fine food, a city is not a city without an Olive Garden. So as of Monday, Sioux City becomes a real city.”