Frothy Paradise

Winners and Losers

I believe it was Ms. Lamott’s friend Fr. Tom who once observed that at 6 p.m. on Good Friday, the crucifixion looked like a win for the Romans. Never, never, ever underestimate the power of love. The route of aggression may seem quicker, but it is usually just the flip side of the same coin we’re trying to get rid of. Kindness and toughness are not opposites. Christ and Buddha were both as kind as anyone would ever imagine, but also just as uncompromising and just as tough about what it takes to foment change. The thing is, they started by teaching us to change the one thing we have some control over: Ourselves.

I know loving our enemies sounds frankly disgusting, and most days I have a hard enough time loving my friends. I am so angry at people who act like being stupid is a cardinal virtue—“I’m the governor of Alaska, and I’m ready to be president; here, take my brain, I don’t need it!”—that I can hardly see straight. The only person whose cardio-vascular system suffers from this is me. So loving my enemies should be on the top of list of ways in which I can change myself. I can’t think of anything more revolutionary.

Of course it’s humiliating having to love someone who is both a moron and thinks I’m a wimp for trying not to hate them. What I do when I start to feel that way is picture the Dalai Lama. He seems like such an incredibly sweet man, so full of love and compassion, and he is all those things. One thing he is not, however, is a wimp. For example, he scares the crap out of China. Talk about the power of love! He may not have won his struggle yet, but he will. And when he does, there will be no losers, only winners. That is the real power of love.